Better Bread
If your experience was anything like mine over the past couple of weeks – it was full of really good bread. And cookies. And fancy coffees. And chocolates. And all the other delicious things that come with holiday gatherings. The holidays are quite often accompanied by indulgence in things that are not normal in our week to week rhythms. I’m not saying that it’s bad, per se, but certainly the first week of January is a shock to the system (at least, to my system).
I think that’s part of why our “Better Bread” fast comes at such a good time. Because the turn of the year – whether you make resolutions or not – is typically a season in which we’re coming back into routine from disruption. It’s a season where our minds are already thinking about “re-setting” and looking forward to the year ahead. Given this, I am personally incredibly motivated to fast from that which has been life draining to seek that which is life giving.
For the next three weeks, my goals are: to completely remove myself from all social media scrolling, to fully remove sweets/desserts from my diet, and to partake in two 24 hour fasts. In place of those things, my hope is to be: rooted more in the Scriptures, actively thinking about the ease with which I gratify the desires of my flesh, and to be in prayer in all of the moments I would normally feel pulled towards wasting time on my phone.
In the first two days, here’s what I’ve found:
First: My bad habits are deeply ingrained, so much so that I normally don’t pay them any mind. I took the step of blocking all social media on my phone. Not only deleting apps, but blocking websites I’d normally use to kill time. The result has been that, in down time, I instinctively type in those websites (Facebook, Youtube, etc.) without even thinking about it. Only when my screen says “this website is blocked” do I remember, “oh yeah… I’ve given this up.” In just two days (small sample size, I know), the Lord has been helping me to re-identify that I have a problem. And I am more than hopeful that the Lord will change my desires over these next weeks so that I’m no longer enslaved by my desire for constant entertainment/stimulation.
Second: I’m already redeeming time otherwise wasted. It’s amazing to me just how much space my technology occupies in my mind. News articles captivate my thoughts, ads get me thinking about things I want, and content creators continue to curate content for me (and others) with pinpoint precision as to capture my attention and intrigue. Without these things as a distraction – it’s funny how the dishes get done quicker, house chores I had been putting off are suddenly far more attractive, and my kids get more of me. Not the half-baked lost in thought me, but the “I’m all here in this moment” me.
Third: My sweet tooth controls more of my life than I had thought. Not five minutes ago, I was generously given a whole batch of mini cupcakes by one of our Tuesday co-op mom’s. You’d think the fight to say no would be easy… but it’s not. They’re currently sitting on the work room counter and I will, by the end of the day, have walked by them easily a dozen times. I’m realizing that my self-control when it comes to sweets is almost non-existent, and my access to them (especially because of the generosity of EBC’ers) is almost unfettered.
I realize that all of this sounds silly because we’re only two days in. But then again, perhaps that’s the point. A fast should show us things about ourselves fast. Fasting is a means of God to help us identify our sinful tendencies, ingrained habits, and misplaced desires. Not to make us feel scummy, but to help us realize that there is something better. Better bread. Bread that, unlike cupcakes, actually nourishes. Bread that, unlike technology, free’s our minds to think on the things of God.
Friends, I hope that this fast is doing some similar things in your own lives. Helping you to stop settling for what is good by replacing it with what is best.
In Christ’s mercy,
Pastor Ryan Aufenkamp